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Monday, 09 March 2009

I think I'm addicted

I think i'm addicted. Lately i've been having headache after headache and i've been taking pain killer after pain killer and now i think i'm hooked. I think i'm also addicted to pain. Its like a need. I've cut myself. I cant stop. I'm addicted to this stuff and there's NO cure!! Ive treid talking that dont help people just ask why and they dont ask how. Why is such a simple word yet it can cause such complexx things. IDK why i cut. Cuz im addicted to pain?? IDK why i take pain killer after pain killer could it be becuz lets see im getting HEADACHES?! This shit has got to stop so help me xangians!! tell me what to do!! I mean my bf dumped me becuz of this shit!! i wont get into a good collage if i dont quit!! i have to get into a good collage cuz if i dont ill have to try and flip burgers the rest of my life!! ive gotta get the best grades ever!! everybodys counting on me!! this is soo confusing!! and stressful!! they wont shut up!! they wont stop telling me these things!! im soo stressed worried and confused. it feels like my life is spinning out of control and i cant do anything to stop it!! it feels like everybodys running my life and i dont get a say in it. "be a doctor they make good $$$" well i dont want to be a doctor its too boring. being in a sterile cold place the rest of my life?? NO WAY!! id rather be some where nice and warm with the smell after a summer storm!! :) "be a lawyer that'll give you a good reputation and $$$" well lawyers may be smart and may make money but they seem nerdy and are always working!!! id rather get down and dirty and like idk not work all the time. id rather be relaxed then stressed!! and they wont listen to me!! they tell me im a daydreamer and that i should get my head outta the clouds life isnt that generous!! >:l they make me soo mad!!!!

HELP ME!! SOS!! H3LP ME!! $0$!!!!!

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Why do ppl make such a big deal over cutting urself??!!

WTF?! how is cutting urself bad bsides the fact you could cut into a vessel and bleed to death?! God my friends think im weird and i just cut some. its hard. im all alone. like i hav i hav few frtiends and we dont hang out or nothing. we just like make each other not lonely at skool. and i wear long sleeves and stuff!! and i dont always cut!! or hav cuts on me!! and i dont cut my wrists!! ok i cut whenevr i pissed off or nervous or stressed. and i cut my arms like the part of your arm thats right next to the bac of ur hand. and they aint deep so y the helk do ppl go stop or its not my life i told you it was bad... WHY DO THEY DO THAT?
I OK!! I FINE!! THEY DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY LIFE!!! OR WAT I DO WITH IT!!!

Wednesday, 04 February 2009

STRESSED!!

Ok, this is really bothering me!! My female molly (a fish) is frikkin pregnant!! and im broke...i only got one tank (a 2.5 gal) and its already at the limit for fish. (1 male blue halfmoon, a male molly (i dint know it was a male when i got it...) a cory catfish (i think its a a male) and the female molly). so im broke with no room for the kids!! and to add more shes having the babies in like 2 1/2 weeks... aint i special?? and i dont even have the rite filter!! i got a whisper, not a sponge. and if you dont have a sponge filter sumtimes (ok mostly) the baby fish (fry) will get sucked into it...and this is soo stressful!!! my friend said shed give me her 1.5 gal (we think thats an estimate) it was measured in liters!! idk if thats a good size for pepper (female molly) or the fry. i feel really stressed out!!! i need help. if you want you can send a tank, sponge filter, heater or sumthing thatll help to this address... 525 south street lynn center illinois 61262. this is my friends house. theyll give me the supplies!! i need help!! if you can give me advice that'd be awesome!! i know raise the temp up to like 82* and give her room seperate her from annoying dad put her in big tank and like do a 20% water change per day give her floating flakes and bloodworms!! help me!!

Monday, 26 January 2009

Tru story!! Sad!!

Ok this girl asked this boy if he loved her. He said no. Tho he stared at her wit cold hard eyes. He said he should be alone. He said he could live witout her. She wondered if he could so she tested her theory...and made a terrible mistake!! She held a dagger to her chest to see wat he would do...he did nothing except laugh and said, "You wouldnt" she shivered as the coldness touched her skin. She gasped as she felt pain and fell to her kness. Blood covered her and the ground. Then he went and held her. He tried to stop the bleeding. His cold hard eyes were sad lonely ones. She wondered, Why? Why did you say you didnt care? He said the words she had said not to long ago...and kissed her lips. Eveb though her body was still he knew she felt it. His tears hit her face as she died. Her only regret was him. Her beloved. She didn't cry when he said he didnt love her. She took a bloody weapon and stabbed her broken heart! She cries for an eternity...not one day goes by that she sees his face. No one knows wat happened to him. They say he just went crazy. They said her funeral was the last they saw him. Some rumers say he jumped off a bridge. Some say he just continued on wit life...but he was dead. they dont know nothing about him. He nevers smiles. Doesnt laugh. Just cries and sleeps and screams when she haunts his dreams. He regrets everything. Not saying he cared. He knew that he messed up but he dint know shed kill herself. Kill him...this story was told to me by a friend. IDK if its really true. The vid for it on youtube is called sasusaku- sadness and sorrow (wit poem) by takitalimxianghua.
How?

Ok these will blow ur mind!! How can we put a man on the moon yet have to fite cance in children? Why do we pay taxes yet they say its not enough $? Why do we get no sleep at nite yet the freaking il govner gets to sleep his butt off?